I stumble sluggishly outside into the darkness of the night.
Nearly as dark as he has transformed my heart.
Bitter.
Bone chilling to the touch.
Guarded from the troubled world surrounding me.
I take a seat, occupying the entire splintered step.
The step we once used to share collectively.
Desolate.
My mind wanders- what we were, what we could have been.
We could have saved the world with one outstretched hand.
Nostalgia will be the death of me.
It's overcast: no moon, no planes, no stars to wish on.
I wouldn't even make a wish, they never come true.
Despondent.
I wished for you. You abandoned me.
Wishes are for the weak.
But, then it hits me like a train on a track.
Maybe, in order to love, you have to be weak.
You have to show your heart's incomplete for the void to ever be completed.
An eyelash drifts onto my rosy cheek.
Maybe just one more wouldn't hurt.
Just like Nana taught me:
Clench my hands.
Close my eyes.
Wish away.
I open my hands and blow it away with the slightest breath of my being.
Smile.
Smile because I had the courage to be weak and wish again.
I can't confess to you, or it won't come true.
But i can reveal this much:
My wish- it wasn't for you.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
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